A letter to myself – Past & present

In a sudden change of events, my parents’ attic is no longer available to us to store our belongings. So now, about 50 days out, I am going through about 35+ totes containing all of my life’s possessions spanning from my infancy to married life. Although these last few days have been an emotional roller coaster, I think it has been a blessing in disguise. I have been forced to confront all this “stuff” and decide what I need to do with it all. With each passing day, I am letting things go less cautiously. Items that I planned on keeping 5 months ago have now made their way to the garage sale pile.

At first, I’ll be honest. I had an emotional breakdown. I wasn’t anticipating having to take on this huge task before we left the country. However, I started to enjoy this unexpected walk down memory lane. What I have come to learn about myself, is that I have always been a writer and a documenter. Growing up, I kept dairies, wrote in journals, and made time capsules (if only I documented where I buried them in my yard!). One of the nerdiest (yet most endearing) recent discoveries was a letter I had written to myself at the age of 13. I smiled when at the end I wrote, “I hope you are having a good life.”

So now, at the brink of this life changing event, I thought I would once again write a letter to myself. Although odd to some, I think I will look back on this letter at this scary, yet exciting time in my life because I know this trip will change me. Life, as I know it, will never be the same again.

Audrey,

As one of the greatest and scariest adventures of your life is quickly approaching, I know that you have been lying awake at night with worry that you have gotten yourself in way over your head. The feelings of excitement have taken a backseat as recent days are busy with more tedious tasks, such as securing health insurance and wondering what the hell you are going to do about the mail. There is still a car to be sold, a condo on the market, and a whole garage full of stuff that you are avoiding departing with. But feel rest assured….it will all work out.

Remember that feeling of restlessness that was brewing inside you, causing you to feel depressed and lost. Every morning you awoke thinking there had to be something greater out there for you. Then you committed to this journey and you found a renewed sense of purpose. Maybe you even appreciated a new challenge ahead. You always knew that you were never meant to live the conventional life.

After leaving familiar surroundings or the comfort of their bed, most people speak of the desire to return home. Remember that you find “home” while on the road. Out in the world, exploring, experiencing the new is where you find your peace, happiness, and fulfillment. Many family members don’t understand or appreciate what you are doing, but you know in your heart that everyone is in charge of their own destiny.  Knowing this, you are bravely changing the direction of your own life, moving away from routine and familiarity.

Remember not to take each day for granted. Soak in every experience. Try to find humor and positivity when things get difficult because life on the road is not going to be easy. Don’t be afraid. You have your strength and greatest love next to you every step of the way. At the end of all this, you are going to find yourself and experience life in ways you never thought possible. Enjoy the journey that is about to unfold.